23.0

In a single night, Zyrdicia had come to believe that everyone and everything in the material world existed for only one purpose - to torment her. Her ill-fated visit to Castle Blackpool definitively proved it.

She was certain that Dirk was finally being honest now. Hatred was so much more believable coming from him than love was. And yet she felt totally blind-sided.

This rejection felt nauseatingly familiar. Azriok had once taunted her for being human. Now a mortal taunted her for being a demon. The symmetry seemed too perfect.

She was disgusted with herself for failing to anticipate this. No one had ever managed to dupe her as completely as Dirk. She shook her head now, sifting through her memory for some clue as to the falsity of his emotions.

She had been inside his head a thousand times. She could only conclude that he had been masterful at deceiving her. She understood from her experiences with Azriok how it was possible to deceive someone with the power to look in one's own mind. She was herself adept at feeding false thoughts and emotions to Azriok. She had never, ever considered the possibility that Dirk might have been able to trick her inside his own head the same way.

Mortal love was everything Azriok had long ago said that it was. False, weak, and a monumental mistake. It was also more painful than any physical suffering she had ever yet experienced.

The lesson, painful though it was, showed that she had no business dabbling with this kind of mortal vulnerability. With the cold objectivity of hindsight, she could see now why it had to be so. She was nearer to the Sephiroth aspect of her being than she had ever been in her life. She was bred of destruction incarnate. The Sephiroth hellfire that burned at the core of her being was anathema to love. And she suspected the reverse was true as well, for she felt poisoned by the experience.

The unexpected disintegration of her relationship with Dirk reignited her craving for Azriok. It was easier for her ego to accept being harmed by a magnificent, dark god than a mere man. Her dark angel would know how to make the hurt go away - or at least he could do her the kindness of replacing it with some other hurt that bothered her less.